Mall Santas Share Their Funny/Awkward Things Kids Say

Published On November 24, 2015 | By Ryan Crits | Afternoons recently posed the question Mall Santas of Reddit: what’s the most memorable thing (funny or sad) that a child has told you they wanted for Christmas? … Here are some of the best responses:


  • “The most memorable for me was definitely the young boy, probably eight, who said he wanted the panties of the cute girl next door. I didn’t really know how to respond to it, or what he meant by that, so I just asked him what else he wanted.
    I’ve had kids ask for guns so they can fight terrorists followed immediately by kids who ask for something noble like world peace (I guess parents give kids different ideas for gifts).


  • Oh definitely the kid who wanted to pee. Same old introduction as always, asking what she wants for Christmas.
    “I wanna pee!”
    Trying to change the topic to help the kid choose, get the picture taken, and move on.
    “I wanna pee!”
    The parents insist that the kid choose something and I sit there awkwardly with this little girl wriggling all over me. She’s crying and they’re insisting and then my lap gets warm.
  • Had an older kid (pre-teen?) come up to me who was totally over the Santa business; he was only there because his parents wanted the picture. When I asked him what he wanted, he flatly said “coal”. Being a jovial spirit, I followed up with “bituminous or anthracite?” Absolutely threw him for a loop.
  •  “He said, and I quote, ‘I want that weel mawiwanna n’ not that fake [s-word].’  He was five.”
  • “I asked what she wants for Christmas.  She said ‘I wanna pee!’  The parents insisted that the kid choose something and I sit there awkwardly . . . she’s crying, they’re insisting, and then my lap gets warm.”




Of Course… nothing beats THIS mall Santa moment :


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